The Seance in the Cellar.
Like all these things, it started in the bar. A few drinks and the conversation got around to things spiritual. Before anyone knew the topic of seances was being discussed, including the "How?" Later it got around to "Where?" and eventually "When?"
Pretty soon the "When" was agreed as "now".
The "Where" was obvious - the cellars. Clearly the place where any spirits floating arolund would be most actve as thecellars were almost certainly haunted.
The "How" was to be a ouija board.
The intrepid team relocate to the cellars. A table was set up and the group gathered round. Letters of the alphabet hastily scibbled on bits of paper were arranged in a circle on the table and a wine glass borrowed from the bar was placed in the centre. Candles were lit and placed around the table, the electric lights were switched off. The, now, slightly nervous circle of investigators each placed a single finger on the wine glass and with the all too familiar words the seance commenced. "Is there any body there?"
Tension mounted in the assembled group. The glass, apparently guided by a ghostly hand, shuddered and appeared to move across the table. Initially the movements seemed fairly random ... but movement never the less. The nervousness turned to excited nervousness.
"Is there any body there?" they asked again. This time there was a knock. Quiet but very clear. It was impossible to establish where the knock had come from but it was there. The group inside were, to say the least, shaken - but held firm. Thisw as a result. Not quite what they were expecting, but clearly a result! Discarding the glass the group held hands and moved to more direct communication "Tap once for yes, twice for no. Is there anyone there?". This time a clear, loud tap! ... and more ... they could hear a noise! Was that a scraping sound coming from drakness in the corner of the room? Hearts beating almost audibly, the group looked into the darkness.Now, with the scrapping - could that be a boot being dragged acrosst he cellar floor? was it a chain that clinked in the background/ Now a groan - or a moan!
One, more prepared than the others, grabbed the Bible he had taken in with him and holding it aloft started to repeat the Lord's prayer. Some joined in, others simply stared intothe darkness - unable to move.
The group were looking around expecting at any moment to see the, at the very least an apparition from beyond the grave, if not the devil himself. The knocking (at the window) turned to gentle moans and groans, and then giggles ... and then hysterical laughter.
At this point it must be explained that the group in the cellars were not the only ones in the bar when the discussions had been developing. Two others had been there and instead of joining the group in the cellar had made there way outside to the courtyard and down by the walkway alongside the cellar windows. Noiselessly they had positioned themselves alongside the window adjacent to where the seance was being held. The people outside were able to hear the voices of the group round the table and when the people inside asked "Is there anybody there?" the group outside replied with the gentle tap on the window.
With the realization that they had been had, the group from the cellar and their tormentors returned to the bar to recover from their experiences ... with a drink.