Jackson, Morrey, Brand, Plummer, Letchford, Thomas, Greenhalgh, Phillips, Ford, Curtis, Goodwin 4-3-3
Bicton Agricultural College v Killerton
Season 1972/73
The Killertonians, once again hunted down by the press for a team photo, were greeted onto the pitch by the Bicton football team by what remarkably resembled grunts of ‘Err and arr it be!’
The Killers lining up in a rather unorthodox pattern, immediately set upon the apprentice farmers with both vigour and fire.
After constant pressure in the opening minutes the Bicton lads finally collapsed after a thundering shot from GRANDAD GREENHALGH had struck the bar, and TASH THE TOSH, in incredible form, came in to head the ball smartly past the opposition defence into the net for the first goal of the game. This set alight the Killertonians and the pressure was on Bicton.
At this point in the game the bewildered agriculturalists, after much thought, decided it was time to produce an attack, but much to the credit of our defence and the coolness of TANK MORREY and SIMMING PILL PLUMMER.
After about ten minutes the razor sharp TASH THE TOSH struck again, to the delight of the fan, by beating no less than three opposition players and hammered home a powerhouse of a shot in to the net from close range.
The delighted Killers now 2-0 up swarmed around the Bicton players like devastating bees giving them no space to play. It was only a matter of time before they increased their lead. And it was that man TASH THE TOSH again dashing down the left wing this time to then push the ball inside to SKIPPY PHILLIPS who side-stepped a Bicton defender, slid the ball inside to GRANDAD GREENHALGH who steered the ball wide of the keeper into the back of the net. A 3-0 lead was nothing more than the Killers deserved.
The game calmed down a little after this and the sound of the referee’s whistle was welcomed and everybody adjourned for the afternoon oranges.
Half-time: Bicton 0 Killerton 3
As the players came out for the second half the scene was set for the ‘Bicton Blitz’.
The early part of the half was dominated by the soaring kicks from goalkeeper PASTY JACKSON and dynamic power provided by JOE PUGWASH BUGNER whose polished fists set alight the second half play.
Soon after the interlude there was a corner on the right and after the familiar shouts of ‘Is there a proctor in the house?’ JB EVERPRESENT rose beautifully to a BINGO FORD precision corner to head home the fourth Killerton goal of the game. Killerton were now so much on top of their game that it wasn’t long before another pin-pointed cross from BINGO FORD was headed into the net by SKIPPY PHILLIPS 6-0.
The Muck Spreaders were in disarray, as JEM EDWARDS put it, and the endeavour of HORRIBLE HORACE, as ‘letcherous’ as ever, was pushing the boys on to greater heights.
The Blitz was, however, de-railed for awhile until SKIPPY PHILLIPS produced one of his infamous babyfoot dummies to slam home another goal - 7- 0. The game could have stretch even further out of the grasps of the Bicton team when GRANDAD GREENHALGH struck a thunderous shot against the bar for the second time in the game.
The Muck Spreaders had now been annihilated but the Killers were not going to ease up, the scent of blood was ever-present. MAGGOT MAY was now coming more and more into the game and growing in stature out jumping the Bicton defence to head the ball towards goal only to see it bounce off the crossbar. However, his agony was soon turned in to joy in a later attack when SKIPPY PHILLIPS slipped a ball inside for MAGGOT MAY to drive a thunderbolt of a shot passed the hapless Bicton keeper – 8-0.
There was even more to come when GRANDAD GREENHALGH dribbled his way through to set up BINGO FORD who managed to drill a ball across the box and in to the net – 9-0.
The final whistle was very much welcomed by the defeated Bicton team and everyone went to the college for tea!
Final score: Bicton 0 Killerton 9